If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say "I told you so," because they're not bright and they'll probably bite you. If life gives you lemons, grow hydrangeas. Be careful what you wish for, you might have superpowers and cause a critical paradox in the space-time continuum. A bird in the hand is not going to behave and a cat might attack your hand for said bird. The pen is mightier than, let's say, a mechanical pencil. When the going gets tuff, the government was involved, at the very least they're taxing you to pay the people taxing you. Two wrongs don't make me turn this car around. When in Rome, do as Super Mario. The squeaky wheel gets ignored until payday and a cheap replacement is purchased because nobody needs squeaky wheels unless you're in a new age or experimental music group. No man's land is not a real place. Fortune favors the comic sans. People who live in glass houses have no shame. Hope for the best, but prepare for a time travelling wizard to give you super powers. Better late than a leap day early. Birds of a feather are missing the rest of their feathers. Keep your friends close and your enemies cursed by an ancient relic and trapped in the abyss of eternity until they say the secret password. A picture is worth more than a thousand newspapers. There is no such thing as a free lunch when you are surrounded by hyper metabolic cheetahs. There is no place like Mars. Discretion is the greater part of living in glass houses. (see above) The early bird get's to be eaten by the early something else. Always look a gift horse in the mouth. I don't know what happened here. You can't make an omelette without turning on the stove. Cleanliness is next to the only thing you do if you live with lazy people. A watched pot is legal in several states. Action Bronson speaks louder than worms. If it ain't broke, it's not an omelette. (see above) Too many cooks in the kitchen is an excellent show, I don't know why you haven't seen it by now. Don't bite the hand that touched the handrail. All good things must come to terms with not getting their own trophy. One man's trash is another man. There is no time like the presence. Beauty is in the eye of damn near everyone anymore. A penny saved is a penny devalued by the central bank in favor of larger account holders, try bitcoin. Familiarity breeds in countries that are always at war. You can't judge an ebook by its online reviews. Good things come to those who don't have taxes. Don't put all your eggs in one chicken. The grass is always greener on other planets with carbon-rich atmospheres. The grass is always redder on Mars. Absence makes the heart go mad in the depth of space exploration. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him wrestle a bear. Don't count your chickens if you're blind; that makes no sense. If you want something done right, don't look at me, use your telekenetic powers. A broken clock is right several times during the zombie apocalypse. If you can't beat them, kill it with fire.