22 December 2015

Yule: Love These Apps 2015

If it is the future. Please stop making the dimensions of web pages (or areas) in px, and start making them in percentage. It's like mobile view, but for tablets. That way zoom doesn't push material offscreen, what if you're pushing adspace offscreen. Maybe you're not, maybe you're building with bad resolution and it seems massive.

Elsif dude, i knew you were a reader quickly, please stop teaching to the test if you're not teaching to the students. I know you're reading this, because I do. "Would you like to take another class from this instructor?" Can I buy a shitty ebook that's a complete ripoff first?

Else, politics: just because I'm not thrilled with the republicans, doesn't mean i'm not going to vote for a conservative. While 100 million people not working is great in utopia, this is not utopia. Newton was not just making shit up, gravity works, entropy does not. I will expound as much further soonish in terms of replication and supplication. Snore bang.

End rant. The next time i write with my eyes closed i'm going to title them 'darkwords' or 'darkwritings' something after this.

Let's do a round up. FNA?

Apps: 2015

Not on the list is Snapchat, windows phone apps are fashionably late and I don't put phone apps on a tablet, that's like putting hot sauce on eggs and were not #dang neanderthals. Oooh, thought.

_why > so violent videogames desensitise, it takes your five-to-seven-or-eight senses to war for your beliefs, so the games pacify our carnal need to hunt for food while we adopt a sedentary evolution (are you to talk to yourself [isn't this those? sorry] ohshit) the tv coddles the mind, make the feels. How disconnected are they that would play with our lives. An old man, before hitting on the postal clerk, hardly, said he wanted gov't to make things cheaper, instead of make PLENITUDE, he's so very wrong like many of them; some adults become tikes, and the reverse is also true. 


Duolingo, you're awesome, but you should get programming and be (awesome)=be.awesome, and hurry up with the Klingon and Russian courses for English learners.

This would be easier if I did a list.

Color Zen:
If you have someone over, or throwing a mixer, just have it on low in the background. Tho, you could have it on a massive touch screen and play drinking games.

First person, best graphics on tablet.

Space Tube:
It's like Unpossible, but inside out.

Pew Pew (1 & 2)
I have both installed. If a 16 bit pilot fired up to 64 rounds per second in a single cell top down map troller about spaceships. It seems like the side-scroller cousin to the 90's virtualboy. #theseizuremaker

Learn Aglebra & Learn Algebra 2:
Hate me if you will, but the info is legit and nowadays we all need it, and these aren't bad, a page and practice WITH the answers. The logo has a circle with an X and an =. It tracks progress, but sorry, no cartoons.

Into the Dead:
The ultimate apocalypse simulator.

Inferno+ :
Top down map shooter with enemy magnetism, it's the game you play in the dark. Graphically awesome.

Mobile view, global sound.

If checkers and chess were just one game. Viral cell entropy calculation, similar in ways to Chinese "Go" and African "Mancala"

(I can't believe I wasn't thinking about this when I started)
Darkstone is the greatest game of all time. The intro level you walk around town and talking to a guy showing you the places, then it's off into the many worlds to probably die. The dragon at the end is the part of the story that only fits with the other parts of the story. Two dungeons with four levels each of difficulty per map, eight to ten maps per dragon, character creation, touchcscreen cameraa rotation, it was designed on touch screens before they were commercially available. Characters keep their skills even if you start a new game. Because the level bosses depend on the characters you choose & character status, you can NEVER play the same game twice.

Outworks (random)
Anything that says 'yoga', 'abs', 'pushups', 'trainer' and is free. "100 pushups" will ask you how many you can do, every-other day you do one more than you did before. You don't need #crossfit unless you're a gymnast or are hyperexausting to shred luggage for flex. Where lifting meets life - flex after, not before. Hashtag realtalk. I like "Just 6 Weeks" but there are gym programs that are good for more interested/invested efforts. Shoutout blackdragonblog.com & girls-with-game.com

Domino's & Papa John's: Get yo pizza points on. Less than half your food should be carbs if you're not lifting, or if you're not vegetarian. If you're a meat-eater, act like it and occasionally - eat spinach (dudes), soy (chicks). I've already said too much!

Ad blocker: Fuck you, ads. BTW, what the fuck, hospital ads, we get it, bureaucrats took people's money to give to other people for coverge (omg stfu yes some needed it) but you also took money to give them that they use to eat way shitty food. Is there an ad blocker for my fucking wallet?

Math Pro (e^x):
Once you know your math, this app has tutorials, examples, and for some topics a compiler that you can enter data and run (simple) tests.

Adobe Acrobat (tablet):
Scrolls PDF top to bottom for continuous reading.

Make your own flashcards thru their website, or quiz battle people from around the world on hundreds of existing topics from Minecraft to Metasploit. (No, they are NOT the same.)

PAC-MAN 256:
Shit just got real....

Sparkle 2 Evo:
Beautiful, complex, difficult, it is the tablet game in the spirit of Spore. #evolvetosurvive

Naught 2: Gyroscope colorblind ninja cat.

Eternity Warriors // Dungeon Hunter
Immense games that are very similar to arcade games, both are designed for larger tablets. If you don't know what an arcade is, ask your parents. View youtube gameplay before downloading. These two very different games, like 'Darkstone' take weeks, if not months to beat. They are button smashers though and require wasting equal amounts of time on a massive universe of controlled-outcome storyline with deep mythology.

Speed Moto Racing Game:
Backdoor to the original Tron: Light Cycles. (ask your grandparents). Tap left and right to steer, because you're racing as soon as the match starts.

Reaper: A little black ninja cartoon. I cannot figure out how to play this on tablet, but I am old. #VCR

Zombie Games: "Dead Route" looks cool, promising, kinda fun, but still needs a little work, it could be the game of next year tho.

Tangled: I'm so angry with this stupid game.

Honorable Mentions: VLC, Vine (version 3 or later), TurboIRC, ooVoo, Skype, RAR, DeviantArt, Instagram, Microsoft Office (free), Kindle reader, Barcode wallet, Calculator^2, Kik, Cortana, Photomath, Zedge, Cyberdust, Uber, Kahn Academy, Codecademy, Microsoft Math, Gasbuddy, photo-swipe apps.

Missing-In-Action: ......invisible apps, scanners, rfid.

I was going to do something else, but I need to step out of this vacuum, goodnight, at five in the morning. I'm going to write with my eyes closed now.

~~~ Very Chrismahanukwanzakasaurus from everyone on #Mars