16 March 2024

Third Shadow

Eye find myself wanting to write. So let's try more of the same and when it gets predictable you can get bored, instead of learning something you'll forget, just like all the other things you forgot. 

It takes a lifetime to understand what oneself knows, we know that emotions are blurry facts, love for someone prized, hate for something despised, and in the moments of covering the surface of reality in digital cosmology and sifting thru memory for magic, what little breaks glows. 

"If you're not ashamed of who you were a year ago, you're probably not growing enough" is a quote by Dennis Ilin. Alain de Botton also said, "Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough". 

If you had to remember everything you'd go insane, what separates us from insects is a brain evolved, just enough, to choose how we live. There are those among the living whomever is so clever choosing to live by a vice, and forgetting the antagony of the anima. 

Reading a book, one turns the page looking for the first page. Scrolling media looking for the post at the start. Streaming, watching a movie and frustrated by having no choices, like the menu. If you're a politcian it's a little more complicated, like wanting to be the king of the lawless. If you're Kafka, you want to be a butterfly. 

It isn't what you want that you'll become, because the duration of zombified daydreaming, builds on the structures in our soul, on the purity of focus and the mind, duly because we are sleeping awake. Someone studied in Zen might say, 'the present in the past,' this is the trinity of philosphy - the known has happened, the response is interprative, and the measurements are manmade. / Philosophy - the art of ideation - is often the parent of social media. (Unless your social network doesn't ban those baddie mcbadfaces other people). So to say, not as perfect as the immpossible task of watching and teaching. The banhammer falleth from the sky defending what nature couldn't acheive. 

I live a midly impractcial and yet extremely unique life. Describing emotions as duration, but also've learned there's a bigger picture without walking backwards. Nonetheless, this is far too long for a fortune cookie de rigueur, so let's return to the haute couture of digression. 

We've learned that extreme depression, rage, euphorai, are the result of stifled imagination. Socials, drugs, alarmism, the occassional student-laden riot, missing the world behind the practice-target. (We've learned how-to). Rethinking reward structures - lowering personal standards until mid becomes lit. Fortune cookie: You're burntout, chill. 

The writing became blogging became posting became trapping. Yeah(?). 

Clickbait conquers the world, while the center of the world is burning with energy. AND, I've been writing this doing the same. 

Philosophers have asked for Monarchy, one above all, or Dystopia, one below all. That a lot of all. All those details to remember, every person driving has their radio on, but you didn't imagine what they're listening to, yet someone will get political after something happened, and decide that 'all the #persons' are identical, quickly passing the thought, they themself wouldn't ever do it, and imagining any signs of corruption to apply to some threat new to the universe, the Worldender in gossip. 

You press Start, you walk thru NPCs for 24hrs in a city of 20 million, to get to the next level, you have to describe 200 NPCs accurately without mistake, before the next level. Crazy - unless you coded that game by yourself, in notepad, then, respect. What does that show us? 

The process is simple. There are descriptions and theories. In the state of depression, yes, affirmations are the correction. However, if the slogans of progress affirm attrocity, you're not human anymore. A wishing goal should be a description of the destination, an affirmation is a description of manifestation (projecting confidence). I love taking my car to the mechanic, because it's better than walking to work. 

The zombie days come in good times, we also know. That dreamless life, beyond positivity, humming doing chores, tinkering with memories at work, perhapsly seem to not add up to planning. A long night's rest setting the foundation to relax, just in time to start another day, in what the ancients called "burning the candle at both ends." 

I was tinkering with an idea called "constructivism," and the internet says it's already known. "I can make great plans. I am working on those plans. The other thing I forgot, was to work on those plans." 

You could've read this TDLR manifesto, I could've called it "The IDs of March", and skipped to the end. The successful have no rush to acheivement before death, they fear losing opportunity to the past, and mortality is a way to let desire go. The desperate don't worship fictions (fakes), they just don't have the broader picture. List your rewards, the low gotta go. List your goals. Dreams (sometimes) interpret those desires (that blind, blinding) us from getting to utopia. So much energy wasted on low-rent rewards and the brain fog will curse your ambition/motivation. Like emotions, shitty desires, fake rewards (that pay the clickbait creators), YOU understand. But I need you to understand the digital era, our IRL, is like an MMORPG riotous monstrous zombified democracy. There, I said it. Someone had to say it. But you need to understand why you gamble, buzz, and trip on shit, now not later. Reading yourself, essaying yourself, posting up, flexing/posing, are layers to emotions and dreams, secret keys to acheivements unlocked.