Vogon Poetry, I

Vogon Poetry, I : Mystery My-Story



Back story: Mid September, 2012, I hadn't transferred yet and prof wanted "for example," which I only use if I think the reader slow, (sorry/notsorry) or primarily theoretical stuff, quacks am are ducks, for example, GO QUACK YOURSELF.

So I was in a job-success class mandated by state curriculum to graduate, it involves remembering what a resume is, and answering questions that arise when job hunting, then after the first week of questions, this happens. score 37/60:

Mr. Banks--You're almost finished with college. It is time to write and express yourself with that in mind. I want to see you use high-order thinking skills in your answers--not one-liners that simply touch the surface of the issue. Try to answer the Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How of the question wherever possible. THINK first, formulate your answer, then type it. 

Missed a comma or semicolon "yourself; with" and "think first," come now, words don't magically fill the page, I had to think to write those words. Not for nothing, I hadn't read that message. A week later, after round two of chapter-questions, this happens. score 18/30:

Again, I want to see evidence of your high-order thinking skills in these CIP questions. Answer the inherent questions of who, what, where, when, why, and how as you answer each one. Watch your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. You will soon graduate, so you need to be able to express yourself in writing. This is a big part of this class--seeing that you can express yourself in writing to prepare for the job market.

No need to put comma before 'so', all it does is show where the teacher had a mental lapse. Not for nothing, again, I didn't read the message. It, btw, is PROFOUNDLY inaccurate to the point where I died laughing and had to use a defibrillator. It is worth nothing that inherent questions may lead to assumption, the mother of all fuckups. A week later, without knowledge of what had transpired between the teacher and I, while I was unawares, after round three of chapter-questions this happens. score 35/50:

I need to see evidence of your high-order thinking skills.  In order to do this, your answers will probably be about 100 words long.  Answer the hidden questions of who, what, where, when, why, and how.  These questions will help you get to the depth I'm looking for.  Start at least one sentence with "For example, ..." which will clarify to the reader what you're explaining.

5W's, everybody says them in a different order. #caring. You meant, "to the depth, which I am seeking", fagamuffin. Not for nothing, save for curiosity, I (at this point) decided to check my grades. It is worth a jibe, "looking for", is a prepositional phrase, at the end of a sentence, leaving the reader queuing without inimical result. More importantly, the teacher put three times, "high-order thinking skills" leaving me to conclude, that if I were presumably receiving his/her messages, he/she was beating a dead horse. I THINK it's called, critical analysis, not "high-order" thinking skills. High order is nomenclature typically reserved for disciplines, and anyone who has devoted their lives to spirituality can tell you, discipline and activity are the same. 

When I had read that the teacher wants me to physically type "for example" I realized, that I should do as such, and ...perhaps I wrote too concisely.  I love the English language, I can write sarcasmisticalogitude and you all understand what I mean, or FOR EXAMPLE I can say, humans are dumb, FOR EXAMPLE, the political science majors who think they're English majors. Precision is key. It's why, when a socialist politician shouts to yell a lie that is obviously and overwhelmingly publicly disproved, I hate their souls, and the idiot liars are actually amazed that anyone knows they're lying, and, confused to how honest/logical people can be offended by lies.

(Note: Even I had to look up "high-order thinking skills" to realize it meant - Don't just answer the question, spend your fucking Saturday writing essay entries that belong in a bloody High School textbook called 'Critical Thinking: The Emotional Paradise.' then remit all your weapons to the police and survive eating the grass in your yard like people in the the third world, until you're hunted, let's hope it's not winter, yours truly, new and improved Soylent Green.)


Any fucking way, here's what I put as-is for assignment four in pure spite. There was an essay more-like-paragraph, which provided the precursory details of job seekers, which made imho it seem perfunctory. Notice the intentional errors and, Enjoy  :)

"1. How can a resume indicate whether an individual is organized, detailed, and professional?"

The resume is a burgeoning reflection of the individual who seeks employment in modern society, in previous cultures a number or societal rank later known as castes put strict parameters of what a person would professionally become, yet today a person venturing for a job must likely have a resume to provide a defining representation of the self which carries with it an aspect of aptitude and evidence. FOR EXAMPLE, if a prospective employer requires a resume than it is an absolute addition to professional development, but more so it must be presentable to give the proper inclination that the person providing the resume is also presentable. If the resume is nearly blank than it is perhaps possible that so is the applicant. If the contents of the resume are shown in humorous and difficult to read this absolutely creates an inference that the applicant is, though personable, much the same. Likewise, if the visual layout of the resume has no noticeable visual structure it portends disorganization; if the letter is physically damaged, dirty, wrinkled, etc., so that if seen on the sidewalk it would be deemed rubbish, so is the credibility of the job applicant.

A functional resume is curt and succinct, purposeful and exact, as to reveal more keenness with less encumbrance. When researching examples of resumes and seeking resume advice, common types to create are typically called; Chronological, Functional, Chrono-Functional, & Curriculum Vitae.

"2. How much weight should the appearance of a resume carry in the selection process?"

Prospective employers have time critical responsibilities as do the interviewers that will be viewing, a functioning resume allows the interviewer to spend a very brief period to ascertain the quality of the applicant, This allows the applicant's list of aptitudes and experiences to entice the employer into further examination and review, in other words, an interview, thus the relative "weight" is balanced. For example, a busy bodied hiring professional has been tasked to hire individuals within an uncontrollable time restriction, after researching the resumes of applicants and expunging vague and irrelevant applications, when the desired job seekers are filtered into the equation, interviews begin and the task of acquiring gainful employment is then shared with the job seeker. In this scenario, the resume can be compared to an item on a food menu, its information and description allows the employer/interviewer to choose which applicant will be interviewed, but the burden of approval is shared and relies on the presentation of the individual.

"3. Do you think Mike is being unfair to applicants who do not exhibit these skills through the appearances of their resumes?  Should Mike consider these individuals anyway?"

No; The skills Mike is attempting to cultivate from potential employees and theoretically utilize are in the purview of his expertise, if the specifics for employment requirements are known it is merely logical to use them as a delineating factor when filtering through resumes for desired worker replacements/additions. Ideally, Mike lives in a free market society where he is allowed to use discretion in the hiring process. If employee replacements are needed faster than they can be screened and hired it can be better to use an analytical sense of discretion to explore the potentials presented in the resumes of what seems to him the ideal candidates. It is possible that deeper examination and alleviated constraints of time allow a more thorough examination, and it is plausible that poor judgement and inept new employees may require him to do so. Also if he is interviewing people for high-demand position and there are few to take the job, the resume is as equally undervalued as it is relevant.

"4. If you have developed a resume, do you think your resume indicates that you are an organized, detailed, and professional individual?  If so, how?  If not, why not?"

A resume provides information as a microcosm of the individual submitting it. In the most simplistic discernment the resume reflects utmost to the person whom created it, but its relevance contains its relativity. For example. a person can submit an organized resume, but the information contained in it my not be, all the effort to put the tasks at a previous employer could be unprofessional or worse, irrelevant to a newly desired job. Providing full details of cigarette breaks and who was there may be organized and in chronological order yet completely irrelevant to an interview glossing over that person's resume.

This revolves around introspection, self-evaluation with evaluational skills obtained and designed in deference to culture and society, in other words, the ability to provide a good resume is based several factors of it's designer, primarily the objective opinion of their self and how it is presented to a prospective employer, in a fashion that is designed by personal knowledge attained by previous experiences in job seeking and resume submissions, and, plausible application of professional resume quality as learned from knowledge bases such as library books about writing resumes, previous and/or existing employers, HR staff members, and anyone who has successfully used a resume to attain gainful employment and can afford to tell you the truth. If I may resort to a political reference, in the professional market, it's not who you know, but what you know. Since the resume is the likely first method of how an employer interacts with a job seeker, whatever is applicable to providing credentials, if it's not on the resume, it doesn't apply.

The Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent